I've learned that when the world throws material like this into my lap, it is pointless to resist...
Scene: Elevator at the Highrise, the ride from Floor 1 to Floor 38.
Our Cast of Characters: Dorky Affluent Family (Dad in sandals w/granny glasses, khaki shorts and a Polo, Surly Teenage Son, who clearly loves him some serious J. Crew, and Mom with requisite medium-length hair in a bandana, a sundress, a sweater over her shoulders and their leftover dinner in a paper shopping bag).
Now, I'm barely socially seasoned enough to say hello to random elevator co-passengers, let alone engage them in small talk. Usually I just stand against the wall clutching my various Stuff to Schlep and construct little vigniettes in my mind about overthrowing their Bourgeois, elitist butts with a fist full of my patented Blue Collar Whoop-Ass. While the elevator to the 38th floor is zippy, it's still packs a good minute of conversation to overhear.
(We'll call whomever they were talking about "Joe," as I cannot remember his real name.)
Son: "Do you think Joe likes his new job?"
Mom: "Yes, he seemed to! But you know Joe..."
Dad: "Joe. Never worked a hard day in his life."
Son: "Wasn't he a coach at Loyola?"
Dad: "Football. Please, all Joe did all day was follow around young men in tights."
(Oh God, oh God, oh God....I have to say SOMETHING!)
Me: "Hey, THAT sounds like a good gig, sign me up for THAT!"
(Elevator stops on the 36th floor, where Dorky Affluent Family resides.)
Mom (hysterically laughing): "Ha! Ha! Ha! Yeah!"
(I was poised for my high-five, but alas...)
Dad (snarky and put off): "Yes, well, perhaps you can find that online somewhere. Good night."
Me: "Goodnight! Enjoy your evening!"
(Which translates to: "Now, why don't you take your uppity ass go outside and play Hide and Go Fuck Yourself?)
I'm giddy with wonder at who I might run into tomorrow!