Friday, September 16, 2011

A Crazy Dream That Makes Some Sense

Crazy dream, though I think I know it's origin. I want to get it down while it's still fresh.  *Not meant to be a great piece of writing.*

Had to go down to Outpatient in the hospital with TOC so he could have a test done on his bowels. He had to drink a prep liquid, and while he was doing that, I was frantically searching these rolling files of blank paperwork for the right form to fill out for his test and couldn't find one.  I called upstairs to my office to have Mary the filer run me a form down ASAP. 

Filled it out and watched "Boogie Nights" in the waiting room waiting for him, which was bizarre, and furiously talked with my office about when I'd be back to continue working. It was crazy in the office and crazy in Outpatient, reflecting my anxiety at work when we're super rushed and busy, and there I was off wasting time with TOC.  He was wearing scrubs to the test (which he wore all day yesterday during his office hours, whereas usually he changes into a shirt and tie, and one day a few months ago I told him I'd give him $50 if he stayed in his scrubs all day and didn't change, but he didn't. I think he looks really good in his scrubs. Maybe he remembered that, I don't know.)

He finished his test, and I asked what took him so long, and he complained that it gave him diarrhea that he was having trouble controlling. I had to get back to the office and he had to rush home to his family. We went out to the parking lot where he was driving a brown minivan (he really has a black Ford Escape SUV). A computer in his car let us know that he had 5 emergency calls from the office he needed to answer.

He started telling me about a trip he took camping with his wife and family and some other people. (He's leaving for 3 days in Florida w/his wife on Sunday night in reality and will be out of the office all next week, which makes me anxious and sad.) He was complaining that his wife chose to sleep with another person they were with, female I think, in a big sleeping bag while he slept alone. "No Tim in the sleeping bag," he told me. I pretended to feel sorry for him about this, and instead of him driving me back to my office entrance, he drove me home.

My house was more like a compound, and my brother and his family were living in a little house in the back yard, and we had a big garage filled with racks of dresses, tools, and it had stairs leading down into it (not terribly practical to get a car inside), and I told him my brother liked to skateboard up and down the stairs. Luke was home playing video games, my mom was inside, my late grandma was there and wanted to meet him, and my sister-in-law came home from work and was completely atypical of her quiet, shut-down personality.

Now, TOC knows my mother and brother in real life, as well as Luke, but he wanted to meet the rest of my family. He was in no rush to get back home, though I kept reminding him he was going to be late getting home to his wife. His diarrhea let up, apparently. He kept kissing me on the cheek and making small talk with my family. Luke was also watching "Boogie Nights," which no, I would never allow, but whatever.

I never did return to work, and went into a bathroom to look at myself in a mirror and my hair was all down. I had a big receding hair line too, which my brother really has, but I don't. Anyway,  I used Vaseline to spike it back up, which was too goopy and didn't work well. (He and I were just talking about what I use on my hair yesterday to keep it spiked up. He asked if I used mousse, which I said was too pliable and fluffy, and told him I use special glue.)

We parted company so he could go home, after having spent an inordinate amount of time with my family. Knowing I wouldn't see him again for several days, I hugged and kissed him on the cheek (which is customary, which we didn't get to do yesterday, and then he forgot to call me on his way home from work, which upset me and I gave up and went to bed, only to dream of him later).

I'll have to ask Kate what she thinks the dream meant, since she's really good at that, but I think it's a desire of mine to draw him closer to my life and my family, hence the addition of the dead grandmother to the fold, and to take care of him, and to keep his wife as far out of the picture as possible, though he's expressed that "someday" he wants me to meet her, though neither of us is in a big rush. I think I'm nervous at the prospect of him taking a little vacation with her, without the kids, and naturally a tad jealous and possessive. Especially given that I specifically asked him--no more like told him--to call me last night and he didn't. I have no idea what time he finally got out of the hospital, but he had a mountain of things to get done before he left for the weekend.

My body slept in an extra 2 hours this morning so I could enjoy the duration of this odd dream. 

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