Friday, February 20, 2015

Existential Crisis: The Colbeard.

I love this FitBit thingy. It keeps track of everything, almost. It's especially useful for tracking my sleeping patterns and how active I am (read: not very). But last night, I slept 11.5 hours and only woke up twice, as opposed to the other night, when I woke up 34 times. Of course, my new antipsychotic, Seroquel, might have something to do with it. It's a trusted knocker-outer. And the doctor quadrupled the dose in one day because I'm so depressed.

Still behind on work, and not getting a lot done, but I have a fresh full ADA accommodations letter being faxed to the school to alleviate some of that stress, so I'm just not going to worry about it, as I haven't been worrying about most things lately. I'm just apathetic.

Apathetic until this morning, when I hopped on the internet and saw THIS:


STEPHEN COLBERT GREW A BEARD!

I need a drink.

Now, ok. I LOVE facial hair on men. Love it. Stephen looks sexy and distinguished, and older. I'm used to his boyish, fresh-faced clean face. It just takes some getting used to and adjusting my fantasy life around it. Hence, my existential crisis. I just wasn't ready. 

I'm easing into it slowly, like Seroquel. I'm ok with it. My only criticism of his beard is that it could be a little...smaller. I like the cropped look. But hey, he's had time on his hands and it's his face and who am I to judge?

As long as he doesn't do this, as the last living man I adored allowed to get WAY out of hand in 1971: 


No, no, no!

Now, on Harrison, THIS was fantastic: 




I'm thinking on Stephen, this would be absolutely smashing: 


Yes!

Now, there are some men who look MUCH BETTER with beards and should never shave them off. Eric Clapton and Michael Nesmith are two of them.


DEFINITELY.


OH MY, YES.


I'll have to program the FitBit to gauge what % of me is happy and excited when I see the Colbeard. He is adorable any way you look at him, I'll just miss pictures like this: 


Will he keep the Colbeard for the new nighttime gig in the fall? He's not sure.

 For sure, it sets him apart from every other late-night host and newsman, even fake newsmen. 

What's funny is that every man I've ever dated (or married) who I thought would look better with a beard has grown one for me. So why am I freaking out about Stephen Colbert's? Maybe because he didn't ask me first. 

I wonder what POE will look like when he gets home. Hopefully as beautiful as he did when he left. He's a fan of the 5'oclock shadow. That works for me. 

I should be the LAST person to judge someone's appearance. Keep the Colbeard for now, Stephen. Let it grow on us, not you. Be as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside. 

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